Fallen Through: Mad World
by Callista Miralni
Summary: But she- she will never call my name except when terror seizes her tiny frame. And every time I hear her screaming, my heart shatters again. Only this time, I ran after her. Sequel to: Fallen Through. Developing SS, ET On HIATUS
1. Sakura

Fallen Through: Mad World

Callista Miralni

* * *

Recollection: Sakura

What would you do if suddenly the world became a darker place?

If, theoretically, you were already trapped in your personal Hell, how could you run?

How could you escape?

She took away my one source of refuge. The only thing I had that was truly crafted by my hands... gone.

Stripped away from me forever.

Yet that's not the only part of me that's gone.

My sanity- my precious, _precious_ sanity is slowly ebbing away.

The flickering lights of the high school's classrooms remind me of those weeks. They are imprinted on my memory, triggered by the most harmless occurrences.

I try so desperately hard to escape but find myself bound and gagged.

Bound, gagged, and ready to be raped.

I can't face the truth in the eye anymore.

But I realize this fact more than anybody else.

I can't run away anymore because there is no where left to run.

I'm stranded and desperately screaming for someone to let me out of this dark hole.

Are you listening?

Can you hear me screaming out your name?

My name is Kinomoto Sakura

This is my story.


	2. Tomoyo

Fallen Through: Mad World

Callista Miralni

* * *

Recollection: Tomoyo

I was so naive.

It kills me to think about it.

The world is not colored in black and white- instead, it is shaded in infinite shades of gray.

How could I stand by and watch her suffer?

Watch her relive those terrifying moments when the things of the dreamworld become reality?

I know there is nothing I could do to ease her pain.

But I won't sit there and watch either.

Infinite shades of gray.

With time, patiences, and love- she will heal.

She _has _to heal.

I can't be the kind of person she's been missing her entire life all the time. I can offer her my love as her cousin, but no... the warmth she craves only comes from a single soul.

If only she could see that everything she ever wants, no, _needs_ is right before her eyes.

My name is Daidouji Tomoyo.

And this is my story.


	3. Syaoran

Fallen Through: Mad World

Callista Miralni

* * *

Recollection: Syaoran

The world has changed into a more sinister place.

The whispers that follow me down the halls no longer hold innocence.

They are filled with malicious intent.

Rumors fly throughout Tomoeda. Every where I go, whispers.

Whispers about her, whispers about me, whispers about what happened last summer.

And yet, as I step into the sanctity of the manor, silence is bliss.

Even though I know she fears it.

The guilt from that night engulfs me every time I hear her wake up screaming my name in the middle of the night.

I can't escape it- this guilt of mine.

But I don't want to.

I don't ever want to _stop_ being reminded of why the world is a sinister place.

Because it's not just about me- it's about her too.

She needs me more than anything else in this world, no matter how much she doesn't want to admit it.

And I...

I will be following three steps behind her no matter what.

My name is Li Syaoran.

This is my story.


	4. Eriol

Fallen Through: Mad World

Callista Miralni

* * *

Recollection: Eriol

It was raining on that day.

And my heart broke at the sight of her.

How could someone so cold, so strong, so _invincible_ be reduced down to something so fragile that one soft touch would make her shatter?

Unpredictable.

Moody.

A blessing.

But mostly a curse.

We didn't know the extent of her injuries.

I don't think we could ever know how much damage was done.

It's a mad world out there.

Sometimes, it's better to run away and escape.

Take hold of your precious sanity and live to die another day.

But she, _she_ has no other options.

She has to stand her ground.

There isn't much I can do to ease her pain.

But I will stand by her for all of eternity.

My name is Hiiragizawa Eriol.

This is my story.


	5. Meiling

Fallen Through: Mad World

Callista Miralni

* * *

Recollection: Meiling

We were lucky she came back to us at all.

There was no ransom price, but the sacrifice we all had to make bore heavily on us like lead weights.

For some of us, the scars will never heal.

Still I wondered, why?

Why her?

The innocence I remembered as a child is lost forever.

We can never go back to those days, that much is certain. What was then, and what is now, are two completely different tales.

Some days, I wish I never tried to bring her into our world of light. She would have been better off living in her veiled world.

She taught me that my light was just as dark as her Hell.

And I could never forget, no matter how hard I tried.

My name is Rae Meiling.

This is my story.


	6. Release

Fallen Through: Mad World

Callista Miralni

Disclaimer: I don't own anything...

* * *

-Chapter Six-  
-Hunting: Release-

Senior year.

The final year.

The year of Hell.

* * *

-Sakura-  
-Wednesday, September 3rd-  
-Seijuu Private Preparatory High School-

The dizzying whispers traveled down the hall, following me like a grotesque mantra.

"Did you hear-?"

"Yeah. The kaijuu is actually-"

"A star. An idolized celebrity."

"But Kaorin-"

"Jade's twin?"

"Did you hear?"

"Brutally tortured-"

"-nearly raped-"

"-kidnapped?!"

"Amai Masahiro's in-"

"Sakura Athene is the kaijuu?"

"No way?"

"- over the summer. I pity her."

"Such agony."

"But the kaijuu-"

_"Did you hear?"_

I wanted to die right there. I would have given anything to be rid of the whispers and stares. Ducking my head down, I hid behind my locker door, willing the whispers to go away. They seemed to get louder and louder with every passing minute, drowning me in false concern and gossip.

"Kinomoto, are you all right?"

The whispers intensified, only this time were more localized.

A warm and heavy hand gently gripped my shoulder. "Sakura..."

I spun around to face the speaker. "What the hell do you want Li?" I snapped.

Warm amber surveyed me coolly. Li Syaoran examined me closely before he opened his mouth to speak.

"Just checking Sakura." He answered casually.

"I don't need your concern!" I hissed furiously. "If Nii-san but you up to this, I swear to God-"

"He did but that's not why I'm asking." Li retorted with a lazy smirk adorning his lips.

God I wanted to rip that smile off his face.

"I turned back to my locker. "Well I'm fine as you can damn well see."

He didn't budge. Boring holes into my back won't change anything, I scathingly told myself. Slamming my locker shut, I glared up at him, silently goading him to leave.

Running a hand through already messy chestnut hair, Li sighed and gently pushed me from behind, guiding me to the front of the building though the shocked parting crowds.

"C'mon, they're all waiting for you. We're taking you home."

* * *

-Later-  
-Syaoran-

I used to think it was bad before.

I didn't believe it could be worse.

Her secret- and her career- were gone. We couldn't salvage it no matter how hard we tried. At Seijuu, those who treated her with contempt only scorned her even further. Before she was a nuisance, now she was a deadly plague. In public, the paparazzi followed her, even months after her return, The paper ran an article on her every Friday since July.

She refused to see anyone from the press- and with good measure. Kinomoto Fujitaka-san even forbade Akizuki-san to interview her, but she wouldn't have done so anyway.

"Daidouji-san! Would you care to comment on the affect the kidnapping has had on your budding company, Daidouji Designs?" A reporter shouted from the gathering crowd on the sidewalk in front of the Kinomoto Manor.

Tomoyo fixed him with a cold stare. "I have no comment." She answered.

Eriol stepped in front of us protectively. "We won't answer any of your useless questions." He announced coldly. "If you're not clear of the premises by the end of next week, I'll call the cops and have your careers ruined."

The cacophony subsided and let us pass. I guided Kinomoto through the crowd, shielding her from the camera lens.

"'Bout damn time someone told them." Meiling grumbled. "Even in gym we have a crowd but the security usually takes care of that."

"Meiling..." Eriol warned, nodding to Sakura.

She said nothing as she unlocked the door. A maid ushered us quickly inside before locking the door with its three deadbolts.

"Kinomoto-san? Your father called. He's visiting the courthouse today and won't be back in time for supper. Are Hiiragizawa-san and Daidouji-san staying?"

Sakura didn't respond as she continued to climb the stairs.

"Kinomoto-san?"

"We'll be staying." Tomoyo told her hurriedly.

Meiling sprinted after Sakura, tugging Tomoyo along with her. The maid, used to her employer's silence, turned to us in the entryway and offered us the comfort of the manor. As always, Eriol and I declined before making our way to the private studio.

"Syaoran-" My cousin seated himself before the piano. "How are things?"

At the beginning of the year, I requested the counselors to arrange all our schedules so that Kinomoto had at least one of us in her class. I somehow ended up in the majority of her courses, something I suspected Meiling had a hand in.

"She zones out a lot. In Comp, I had to snap her out of it twice in ten minutes. I think she needs some kind of release or she'll fall apart again."

Eriol started to play. "What about music? That 's her usual method of release, has she done anything?"

"Not since Fujitaka-san begged for Meiling and me to move in."

"Hmm..." Eriol's fingers played a particularly complex cadenza. "Maybe that's what she needs."

A release? I never thought of that.

Eriol continued to play, the melody floating through the rafters, a silent prayer to heave to make every thing right.

* * *

-Sakura-  
-Weeks Later-

Ayame entered the studio, violin in hand.

"Sakura! Has musical genius struck you yet?"

"Ayame-" I growled. "Shut up and quit bugging me. There's no point to it anymore."

A heavy silence fell.

"So you're telling me..." My cousin clarified in a quiet voice. "that these last three years were not for expression but for profit?"

I recognized the deadly edge in her voice. Glaring at her, I answered, "Don't put words into my mouth Tsukishiro Ayame."

She opened her mouth to yell back,but thought better of it and turned away. The room fell quiet again.

Growing tired of the silence, I picked up a guitar and started to play. The chords came easily and I hummed a melody to go with it.

"Finally." Ayame sighed as she left the room.

I ignored her, reaching out for a pen to scratch out lyrics to my new song.

_To Another World

* * *

_-Syaoran-

Sleep did not come so easily nowadays.

Not that it mattered in the least.

Every time I close my eyes, the same scene replays itself over and over again.

Over and over again.

The darkened, flickering lights of the stage, the fear that rang through her blood and echoing into mine, her scream...

Oh God... her scream.

And the darkness overwhelms me, _consumes_ me until I'm nothing but an empty, _guilty_ shell.

Our relationship has changed. We are no longer at odds with each other; instead, we cling to one another as our last lifeline no matter how much we wish we weren't so dependent on the other.

I call her Kinomoto, but I find myself slipping into her name so frequently, it's all become a blur in my mind.

I've given up on the laws of propriety completely.

But she- _she_ will never call my name except when terror seizes her tiny frame.

And every time I hear her screaming, my heart shatters again.

Only this time, I ran after her.

_"SYAORAN!"_

I ran.

* * *

-Meiling-

I heard her.

Screaming away, in the darkest hours of the night.

Running feet go by my door._ Syaoran_- I thought to myself before crawling out of bed and grabbing a sweater.

Even though summer is just beginning to wane, the Tomoeda air is still warm.

Yet all the warmth seems to have been sucked out of this home and its inhabitants.

She will be fine with Syaoran there beside her. I know she will be, because that all she ever screams for. After him, comes the rest of us.

How broken could she possibly be to wake up in terror every night?

How fragile is she?

I don't know. I don't think I even want to know. My battered heart can't take anymore; one hit, and I'll fall to pieces just like her.

She needs me to be strong for her. Sakura has always been strong for me, and strong for herself, but there comes a time when all you can do is let go.

Let go and cry.

I opened the door to her bedroom. Not to my surprise, Syaoran is already there, cradling her in his arms, whispering consoling words into her ears. What he tells her, I have no idea.

Sakura's raging demons quiet in my cousin's presence. Drifting off into a dreamless sleep, Sakura's sobs finally subside.

I can only stand by and watch as he gently tucks her into bed again.

"Goodnight Sakura."

And he drops the smallest of feathery kisses onto her forehead.

We go through the same routine almost every night. She calls for him in her nightmares and he comes. Hearing his footsteps, I follow soon after. As I walk in the room, he cradles her and consoles her until she sleeps. When she finally falls asleep again, he tucks her back into bed and kisses her goodnight.

I always wondered why he faithfully followed the routine. When I asked, he only enigmatically answered, "Just because."

Just because of what Li Xiao Lang?

Have your inner demons taken over you too?

* * *

Author's Note:

Welcome back readers to the next installment of **Fallen Through**!

I went ahead and added this chapter for you guys. New readers, if you're totally lost, I suggest you sit through 129-ish pages of the prequel. However, if you don't want to, that's totally cool. It might even be better for you?

I really don't know how long this is going to take me. I promise another long fic for the readers. Hopefully, this time around, the writing will come much easier.

It's darker... and a little bit more dramatic, I guess you could say. But please stick around.

Thanks so much to all those who reviewed the last chapter of _Fallen Through_.

Please leave a review!

Ja ne-

Callista Miralni


	7. From the Inside

Fallen Through: Mad World

Callista Miralni

Disclaimer: Nothing! Except for the song at the beginning… MINE!

Thank you so much to all who reviewed! The feedback has generally been good so far- hope you all are enjoying the fic.

* * *

-Chapter Seven-  
-Hunting: From the Inside-  
-Tomoyo-

The late morning crowd had not arrived yet at Seijuu. I stood beside Eriol seated in front of the piano, waiting for my cue to sing.

_Snowflakes on blood-covered walkways  
__I can't believe I've escaped this hell  
__If I could be someone else now  
__Would you recognize me without the mask, the lie?  
oh... this is my goodbye_

"Cut." Eriol muttered as he continued to play.

I opened my mouth to sing the chorus.

_If only you could see me now__  
I'm flying high__  
Free to dream and free to die__  
If only you could hear me now  
__I'm laughing in joy  
__My white walls, my prison  
My cage to fly_

The door of the music room slid open and Meiling took over for me, taking both of us by surprise.

_Raindrops on blood-covered highways  
__Trying to erase the stain of our sins__  
Nothing could be more painful  
__Than having you walk by blind to my sacrifice  
oh... why won't you look me in the eye?_

_If only you could see me now__  
I'm flying high__  
Free to dream and free to die__  
If only you could hear me now  
__I'm laughing in joy  
__My white walls, my prison  
My cage to fly_

I joined her at the bridge, knowing Meiling would still continue singing.

_Free  
__I don't know what this could be__  
This lie__  
Open my eyes to blood-tainted darkness  
My cage is my demise_

_If only you could see me now__  
I'm flying high__  
Free to dream and free to die__  
If only you could hear me now  
__I'm laughing in joy  
__My white walls, my prison  
My cage  
_

_If only you could see me now__  
I'm falling down__  
Torn from my freedom and tossed to the ground  
__If only you could hear me now__  
I'm screaming out loud__  
My white walls, my prison  
My grave in the ground_

_oh... why won't you look me in the eye?  
oh... this is my goodbye_

The sound of applause reached my ears. Startled, I looked up and realized Chiharu-chan and the others were standing in the doorway.

"Nicely done Tomoyo-chan. You guys did just as well as the original." She gushed.

I gave her a thin smile. "Really. I'm surprised you've heard it. It doesn't get radio play at all and it's pretty recent."

Chiharu stuttered. "Well… that was before all that happened."

"Does it matter?" I asked her wearily as I gathered my books for my first class.

Eriol gracefully stood up from the piano, his dark eyes boring into my own as he gently tugged me away from Chiharu. "Let's go Tomoyo."

The memories clouded my mind as Eriol led me down the hallway.

_"Ladies and Gentlemen." She finally said, the smug grin never leaving her face._

_"I have your precious Alice."_

"Tomoyo." Eriol called sharply.

I jerked my head and smiled at him. He wasn't fooled though; I could tell by his frown.

"Don't think about it." He commanded softly.

I closed my mind to the memories.

* * *

-Later-  
-Gym-

This was the one class all five of us had together. I enjoyed it for that reason alone and there was nothing here that could trigger any of the summer's memories.

I snuck a peek at Sakura standing on the sidelines. Meiling chatted animatedly with her and she offered a response every now and then. But most of the time she simply watched the basketball game taking place.

I liked to fool myself and think she was really watching _Syaoran_ play. The older teen's skill was amazing; he played the game like a true athlete of the sport. I knew his- and Eriol's- real skill lay in soccer but Syaoran's talent on the court made me think otherwise.

"Tomoyo-chan…"

I tensed, recognizing the voice.

Amai Jade.

"Jade-chan? What's up?" I said, slipping back into my perfect façade.

Her eyes shifted as she took a glance at the girls boring holes in the back of her neck. "Is she okay?"

I smiled thinly. "Why don't you ask her?"

* * *

-Sakura-  
-Afterschool-

I did not expect to see this person standing in front of me in the frenzied Friday afterschool rush.

"Can I help you-"

Her dark eyes twitched nervously.

"-Amai Jade?"

Jade bit her lip, a nervous habit from our childhood days.

"Sakura-chan."

I twitched.

"You're thinking of someone else." I told her flatly.

We stood in silence. I heard my phone ring, the obnoxious ring tone I had reserved for Li cutting through the stillness.

_Kiss kiss fall in love! Hey! Hey! Hey! Itsu demo-_

"What?" I snapped.

_"Go home little princess. Your father's taking us out to dinner._" Li answered, ignoring the irritated edge in my voice.

Jade watched me curiously, tilting her head to the side, straining to hear the voice on the other end of the line.

"Don't screw around with me Li. I have a low tolerance for jokes."

Her eyes grew wide at the mention of Li's name.

_"I'm not kidding. Meet me outside on the front steps, like we always do. We'll go home together."_

He hung up on me and I shoved my phone back into my pocket. Glancing back at Jade, I asked her, "What?"

Jade grew red in the face and stammered, "Nothing. I just wanted to know if you're okay. Tomoyo-chan wouldn't tell me." She exhaled quickly.

I stared at her for a long moment before breaking out into a bitter laugh.

"You know Jade-" I said in between chuckles. "- you are the very last person I want to hear that from. Do you feel guilty?"

"Should I?" She challenged me. "Because I fucking do even though I didn't do jack-shit to you."

I stopped laughing and looked at her coldly. Did she really say that? How could she think she is completely blameless?

"But you did do something." I reminded her. "You left me seven years ago. Or do you not remember that?"

* * *

-Eriol-

It's amazing how long we sought for her body. Even though Toya's last shaky words confirmed the teen's accidental demise, her body was never found.

That's suspicious.

Intuition told me she was alive and plotting her silly vengeance further.

Intuition has yet to fail me.

* * *

-Later-  
-The _Hanabi-_

Yukito-san came out of the kitchen elevator with a steaming platter of pork buns and set them down before us. I could see Syaoran eying them hungrily, fingers twitching to reach and grab…

"Hey." A familiar voice broke in. "You should at least wait until he sits down in his chair."

I groaned and looked at my cousin. "Nakuru…"

We were seated in the VIP loft of the famous restaurant, dining high above the regular patrons. The Kinomoto party was the only guests up here, our conversations unheard over the mindless chatter and clink of china plates, glass goblets, and polished silverware.

Suddenly, a clamor broke through the restaurant's soothing atmosphere.

"Kinomoto-san! Did the title of your soon-to-be-released studio production, _Fallen Sakura_, have anything to do with recent rumors about your depression?"

"Your manager, Tsukishiro Ayame, refuses to comment on your mental diagnosis. Would you?"

"Sakura-chan, are you still moving forward with _Fallen Sakura_'s debut despite your controversial kidnapping and torture by Amai Kaorin earlier this year?"

Fools.

Utterly shameless fools.

"I have no comment." Even seated twenty feet above, Sakura's voice cut through the air like ice. "You all are idiots to present all these stupid rumors propagated by the heartless Seijuu High student body as facts for your readers to see."

The reporters left after that.

* * *

-Syaoran-

"AHHHHH!!!"

"STOP IT! KAORIN- STOP IT!"

"SYAORAN… SYAORAN, WHERE ARE YOU?"

Her screams roused me from slumber again.

But tonight was different.

Sakura was already awake, clutching onto the teddy bear Eriol gave her for her birthday. The tears had already dried on her face but the terror hadn't faded away. I went to her and held her like I always did, but this time, I asked her a question.

"_Fallen Sakura_… was completed before the summer right?"

She didn't answer for a while and I was scared I brought up her nightmares again.

"Yes."

"So why not release it?" I pressed her. "Maybe if you do, people will get off your case about it."

"No." Sakura answered sharply. "I… can't. That album is… the most personal of all the three. _A Capella_ was my debut, learning how to fly. _Hidden Secrets_ told about the controversies and difficulties of growing up…"

"That's why it was so popular at school." I realized.

She nodded before continuing with her point. "And _Fallen Sakura_ recorded my emotions. It is the closest thing to a diary I've ever had and I'm not about to publish it for the entire world to hear… waiting impatiently for the latest bit of scandal coming from my lips."

Sakura had obviously been thinking about this for a while. Probably since we brought her back. Sakura being Sakura had considered every aspect to the issue that we all failed to see.

"It's a mad world out there." I commented idly.

But even I knew I had no real idea.

* * *

-Sakura-

I hate myself for being so dependent on him.

What happened to me? I used to pride myself on my independence, on my ability to hold myself together without Meiling by my side all these years. And then I suffer one _real_ tragedy and fall to pieces...

… in his waiting arms.

But why does he do it? Why does he continue to chase away my nightmares and inner demons? I don't need a fucking knight-in-shining-armor; I need _peace_.

Maybe, just maybe, that's where this is all taking me. This last summer was just the ugly truth coming back to bite me. After suffering through Kaorin's abuse, I came home and was suddenly able to see _everything_. Especially the truths in the memories I tried so hard to deny and suppress.

I suffered because Kaorin suffered.

Li rejected her affections but she fell in love with him anyways. I suppose she never really fell in love with Li Xiao Lang; rather, her fantasy of who Li was. And when he never looked twice at her, she took it all out on me.

Love is cruel- that's why I vowed to _never_ fall in love.

It would only break my fragile heart.

* * *

-Syaoran-

I walked by Kenji-sensei's classroom, peeking through the door at the juniors animatedly chatting with one another. People from different social groups easily mingled at the circular tables and I realized Kenji-sensei started the grand Morality lesson, the infamous "Friendship" project.

"Li-kun, come in for a minute. My students have questions for you." He waved me inside his classroom.

I smiled and followed, given no other choice except to comply. Cued by habit, I glanced at the table in the far back corner of the room by the window where we used to sit.

It was empty.

Kenji-sensei followed my gaze and smiled sadly. "I keep it empty to remind myself of the greatest accomplishment and tragedy of the 2007 class." He answered in a low voice so I could only hear.

My head jerked back around to look at my teacher. Accomplishment? Tragedy? How were we any of those things?

"So does this... project really work?" A skeptical girl in the front row asked me immediately, distracting me from Kenji-sensei's comment.

I thought about all the awkward groups in my class and realized that the project never worked unless people _wanted _ it to work.

"That's up to you." I answered easily. "Next?"

"Did you learn anything about yourself?" Another girl asked, her hand shooting up in the air.

Suddenly, I was taken back in time....

_She looked at him again and smirked. "You don't know who the hell you are."_

"I'm only starting..." I answered wistfully, loosing myself in my head.

I'm only starting to realize what it meant to be _me_.

* * *

-Eriol-  
-Friday Afterschool-

There's nothing quite like driving the convertible I hardly ever use, listening to music, riding with friends, with the wind gently blowing past our ears off to distant places.

Linkin Park is freakin' _amazing_ on these trips. But then, there's-

"TAAAAAKE... EVERYTHING... FROM THE INSIDE AND THROW IT ALL AWAAAAY!"

"'CAUSE I SWEAR... FOR THE LAST TIME... I WON'T TRUST MYSELF WITH YOOOU!"

Meiling screeched along with Chester Bennington's more melodic screams. In the front seat beside me, Syaoran stuck his fingers in his ears and repeated, "It'll be over soon" over and over again. Tomoyo laughed beside Meiling, helplessly collapsing in giggles at the disturbed expression on Sakura's usually blank face.

"EVERYTHING... FROM THE INSIDE...!"

"MEILING, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Sakura finally yelled. "ERIOL- CHANGE THE DAMN SONG!"

I reached to press 'Next' but Syaoran beat me to it. "I'll do anything!" He cried out dramatically. "Anything to save me from Meiling's pathetic attempt to copy Linkin Park!"

My cousin's ruby eyes twinkled mischievously as the opening bars of the next song began. "Oh..."

"Shit." Syaoran swore.

"Oh!" Tomoyo perked up.

"I never really knew that she could dance like this; she makes a man wants to speak Spanish. Como se llama- " Meling sang.

"Si!" Tomoyo echoed.

"BONITA!"

"SI!"

"MI CASA-"

"SI! SHAKIRA, SHAKIRA-"

"SU CASA!"

"SHAKIRA, SHAKIRA! C'mon Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo laughed.

"No way!" Sakura denied.

"Loosen up girl!" Meiling poked. "It's Friday night and we're on a road trip to go see your brother in Osaka! What's there to stop you?"

Emerald green narrowed. "Uh... my dignity, which you seem to lack for yourself all together."

"Please Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo pleaded, Meiling joining in soon after.

She finally caved. "I'm on tonight, you know my hips don't lie and I'm starting to feel it's right. All the attraction-"

"Yeah!" Tomoyo cheered.

"-the tension-"

"Sing it sexy beast!" Meiling screamed.

Sakura shot her best friend a disturbed glance but let it slide as she finished the verse. "Don't you see baby- this is perfection."

"HELL YEAH IT IS!" The other two girls yelled, breaking into as much of a dance they could possibly do in the restraint of their seats.

And so this continued for the duration of the song; Sakura softly singing the vocals, Meiling and Tomoyo echoing in when they felt like it in the midst of their dancing. I stole a glance at Syaoran watching them in the side view mirror, the barest hint of a relaxed smile playing on his lips. I grinned too in spite of myself and reached out to slap his shoulder.

"Like Meiling said, loosen up man."

Only, a moment after I got Syaoran to relax, he tensed up again as I pressed on the brake.

We had arrived.

* * *

-Meiling-  
-Osaka University Hospital-  
-Room 2214-

"Kinomoto Toya. Family and friends of the patient." The nurse explained to the doctor. He was finishing up his daily check up, scribbling notes on the record sheet kept at the foot of the bed.

"I'm sorry you weren't here yesterday Sakura-san." Katsumi-sensei said sympathetically. "Toya woke up long enough to to see your father before he slipped into another coma."

Her mask did not break. "A pity." She echoed, taking the seat Eriol offered her.

Katsumi-sensei left us alone.

I looked at the man lying on the bed. His face was devoid of any expression. Every time Mizuki-sensei came to see him, she broke down at the sight of his face alone. How were we to know if Toya would truly be okay if we can't tell he's happy, sad, lonely, or in pain?- she cried out.

The blow Amai Masahiro delivered to the base of his head and the multiple knife wounds scarring Toya's body were enough to send the eldest Kinomoto sibling into shock- then later, a coma. His body needed to rest and recuperate; there's only so much modern medicine could do. The rest was really... up to him.

But Sakura needed her brother to wake up soon. Not just because she needed the emotional support. Amai Masahiro's trial is in six months and Sakura needed Toya to reveal everything he knew about the psychotic man's schemes with his little sister.

Only then perhaps could the Kinomotos breathe easier.

* * *

-Sakura-

I held Nii-san's hand tightly, willing myself not to break down in tears.

Every time I come here, it's the constant reminder of my carelessness, of my stupid, _stupid_ loyalty to oaths that shouldn't even matter anymore.

I wanted to tear Kaorin apart.

But that would only make me just like her.

A sociopath.

* * *

This chapter is grossly overdue.

But I had to actually think about where I was going, including a ton of research to validate why Kaorin is the way she is. And I decided just to stop writing. ^^"

Songs: _Sakura Kiss- _Kawabe Chieco (Opening Theme for _Ouran High School Host Club_); _From the Inside-_ Linkin Park; _Hips Don't Lie-_ Shakira ft. Wyclef Jean.

I lied- the writing isn't coming any easier than it was before. Well, it is for everything else except for what I want to work on -_-' Isn't that just dandy for all you readers?

For all of you wondering about the song Tomoyo, Meiling, and Eriol perform at the beginning of the chapter, it is an original piece composed by me. One day, when I finally get around to it, I'll post the demo version up on my artist account and give you the link in my profile. For now, it sits on my music stand, waiting to be finished up with the alternative rock elements. XD

Ja ne!

Callista Miralni


	8. Second Chances

Fallen Through: Mad World

Callista Miralni

Disclaimer: you know... the usual. I don't own anything unless stated otherwise.

Sorry for the delay, but my suicidal editor/best friend/cosplay partner-in-crime was on my case for the next chapter of my original novel.

But I've been thinking about Mad World all week so here we go...

**Happy Birthday to Jayde!** I know _Fallen Through_ has a special place in your heart, so this chapter is my gift to you. ^^

* * *

-Chapter Eight-  
-Hunting: Second Chances-  
-Sakura-

Regret is a funny thing. It strikes a man at the most inopportune moments, brings the strongest to his knees, and kills the weakest link in one agonizing memory.

Regret is one step removed from guilt.

You can regret all you want, but guilt... guilt is something else entirely.

Guilt does everything regret does and more.

Because with guilt, there is no saving grace.

Leaving the hospital is always the most difficult thing. _I_ should be lying in that bed, stuck in a suspended state.

Not him.

Not Nii-san.

No matter how many times I hear "It's not your fault Sakura," I know it's not true. Because if it weren't for me, Toya-nii-san would not be in that hospital. If it weren't for my carelessness, for my one moment of weakness and humanity, then none of this would have happened. I'm to blame for everything.

And I accept that fact with enviable grace.

Sometimes I wondered what the world would be like if I had not made that choice to extend my hand to Kaorin. Li would be in a garage somewhere with Yamazaki, Eriol, and Yamato Riku. Tomoyo would be designing away in her studio bedroom. Meiling would be on tour. Otou-san would be on a dig about now, maybe to Belize to study the pyramids there. Kaho would just be the student counselor, Yuki a sound engineer, Nakuru would continue writing, and Nii-san...

Nii-san would be the police chief of Tomoeda.

I would be left alone in my veiled world.

Before, I would have shrugged it off and continued with my life. But now...

Now, the very thought of it breaks my heart.

Can you hear it shattering?

* * *

-Later-

Ayame stared at me quizzically.

"You want to do _what?_"

My eye twitched. "I want to sponsor an new recording artist." I repeated flatly.

"Is that a good idea?"

"For the love of God!" I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation. "You said you wanted me to do something creative with myself!"

"Yeah but..."

I cut her off. "Are you going to help me or not?"

The hesitation in her eyes was enough for me.

* * *

-Seijuu Private High-  
-Tuesday-  
-Syaoran-

Sakura was absent.

Tomoyo was absent.

Meiling was absent.

Where the hell did they go?

"Hey man." Yamazaki Takashi took a seat across the table from me. "You free this afternoon?"

I thought about it. I suppose I technically was free, since the girls were nowhere to be found.

"Yeah I am. What's up Takashi?"

My friend and soccer teammate shrugged. "Nothing really. We haven't really hung out in a long time beside school and practice. April 5th is hanging in the air."

My brain froze at Takashi's last statement. Shit. I almost forgot about April 5th, the garage band Takashi started two summers ago with me and Eriol and Riku. I realized I had forgotten about a lot of things in my life ever since last summer. Even though I had not witnessed the horrors Kaorin subjected Sakura to, that month changed me even more than I would have liked it to.

"Yeah April 5th man. We're going to yours or Riku's?" I answered smoothly.

"Riku's. Bring your guitar- we play at four."

* * *

-Afterschool-

Eriol knew about the session before I had the chance to ask him if he knew.

"Dude-" My best friend shook his head. "I'm a pianist, not a singer. I never understood why Takashi insists otherwise."

I smirked and whipped out a folded sheet of paper from my pocket. "Because Takashi took a survey of all the girls in our class and you were ranked the number one person women wanted to be visited by in the dead of the night."

"What?!" Eriol snatched the page away from me and read through it quickly. Throwing it back at me, his ears turned bright red. "That's awkward." He hissed. "Besides, you sing better than me."

Shrugging, I slammed my locker shut and shouldered my backpack. "I dunno man. It's up to Yamazki. I just play."

Groaning, Eriol slammed his head on my metal locker door. "Fuck my life." He swore.

* * *

-Meiling-

We missed school for this?

I gaped at the studio Tomoyo set up inside the west wing of her mother's Tokyo branch toy factory. On the first floor were three different studios for photoshoots and the dressing rooms. The second floor housed different machines used in the creation of Tomoyo's works. Last, the third floor was Tomoyo's private office and the catalogue rooms: the development, manipulation, layout, and printing of her monthly magazine.

"What do you think? They just finished moving in and setting everything up last week." Tomoyo explained as she opened up the curtains of her contemporary office. "Hopefully, I can start hiring the rest of my staff now."

I stole a glance at Sakura staring out the window. "You need help?"

Tomoyo blushed and looked down at her feet. "Uh... actually, Meiling-chan, I wanted to hire you."

"That's cool. You want me to be your personal secretary? I can do that."

In the corner, Sakura snorted.

"Uh... no."

Staring at her quizzically, I prompted, "So what- the vice president?"

Tomoyo shook her head. "Not that either. That's my mother."

I could see Sakura's smirk in the window's reflection. Sighing in exasperation, I asked, "What do you want me to do then?"

"Model. I want you to be one of my models. You're the age of my potential marketing group."

"Besides," Sakura added wryly. "Your fame as a gymnast is a clever marketing ploy to associate Daidouji Designs with being 'famous' and popular. Shrewd move Tomoyo."

"It's not just that!" Tomoyo protested. "I would've asked Meiling anyways even if she wasn't famous because she's my friend. And she's gorgeous!"

Shocked, I could barely form a coherent sentence. That was... quite an unexpected bargain. Me, model? Ha! I could barely keep myself from tripping in high heels!

"Fine." I managed to say. "But on one condition:"

Sakura and Tomoyo looked at me curiously.

"Sakura has to model with me."

"WHAT?" My best friend screeched.

"Oh!" Tomoyo practically _sparkled_ with joy. "What a great idea! You're both hired!"

"_TOMOYO!_"

* * *

-Syaoran-

I picked the intro to Takashi's favorite girl-band song. Beside me, Eriol's forehead creased in concentration as he tried to remember the melody.

"_Tell me—what you're looking for,  
What you're trying to see beyond the cold lie.  
Tell me—am I the one you want,  
The one you want to hide away?"_

I abruptly stopped playing.

"Dude." Riku's arms relaxed on his bass. "What gives?"

I adjusted my fingers over the fretboard. "Sorry." I stammered. "I got distracted."

"I'll say." Riku snorted. "From the top Eriol man."

My best friend's eyes bored through me.

I know Eriol.

This is Sakura's song to _her._

Kaorin.

* * *

-Sakura-

The world was on fire.

Blue flames licked at my skin, sucking the moisture out of my body. Beyond the flames, Kaorin and Masahiro taunted me over and over again.

"Why does he love you?" She suddenly asked me in a soft voice.

"Who?" My lips cracked and bled. "Nobody loves me. You made sure of that."

She slapped me hard across the face. The metal setting of her father's class ring cut into my cheek, drawing a thin line of blood.

"Li Syaoran."

I stared at her before breaking out into crazed, almost maniacal, laughter.

"How deluded are you?"

Her green eyes, shades lighter than mine, narrowed. "I've been watching him." Kaorin answered me. "I've seen the way he chases after you, relentlessly pursuing you, trying to figure out how you work. I've seen the way he tried to push you away, how he tried to break you, how he came crawling back on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness. You can't lie to me Sakura."

My lips went suddenly went numb.

"But I'm not lying." I weakly protested. My head spun. It must have been the combination of blood loss and heat making me dizzy.

"But you are, worthless girl." Her eyes took on a darker gleam as Masahiro passed her a switchblade. Fear clogged my throat.

"You said you'd help me win Syaoran's heart."

Wait—_what?_

"I never said that." I told her in a more confident voice than I felt.

"Yes you did Jade. You told me you'd help me. You told me you'd turn me into Sakura. You told me you'd be able to make Syaoran think only of me."

"You're my twin Jade!" Kaorin screamed at me. "We're affected by the same heartlessness. Why is it _you're_ the only one Mother raised? Why couldn't she have taken both of us?"

"Why did both of you have to leave?"

She's hysterical—I flatly concluded. She thinks I'm Amai Jade, her socially acceptable twin.

"Why do you want to be me?" I cut in.

I had to know. I didn't care if there was a switchblade in her hand. I needed to know the reasons for all those years of abuse.

"She's like me. Like how you would've been if you stayed. She's been bullied and abused, rejected and abandoned. And yet people notice her all the time and pay attention to her."

She thinks all that childhood bullying was a _good_ thing?

"Her father loves her. Her brother protects her. They do all those things even though she pushes them away. She may not have friends but she has love. Why couldn't I be loved?"

"Why couldn't I be like her?"

"So why did you hurt me Kaorin?" I probed.

Her eyes took on a maniacal gleam again. "Because the little bitch deserves it." She snarled. "If I couldn't be loved, then neither could she. While she grows prettier and prettier each day, I wither away."

I always knew she was jealous of me. Huh.

"So tell me Sa~ku~ra." She purred my name, snapping back to her senses. "What's it like to be ugly?"

Did she just-?

The next thing I knew was the slicing pain across my back, followed by the burning blue flames.

"_SYAORAN!"_

[-end dream-]

* * *

I gasped for air. His hands were all over the place—on my hair, on my face, on my back.

"Shh." He soothed me. "It's just a dream."

But it wasn't a dream Li.

It was a nightmare.

A haunting memory.

"Let me see the yearbook."

Amber widened in surprise. "Why?"

I needed to see it for myself. I needed to know if Kaorin was lying.

Why did she think I was Jade? She and Jade are fraternal twins, so the resemblances are few, but Kaorin and I looked nothing alike.

Handing me the thick volume, I found the junior class section easily enough. There it was- Amai Jade. I studied the image closely.

"What are you looking for?" Li asked me impatiently.

I jabbed my finger on the page. "Do we look alike at all?"

His eyes flickered back and forth between my face and Jade's picture.

"No. But your eyes are similar."

He was crazy—I concluded.

"Are you daft? Jade's eyes are _blue_." I emphasized acidly.

He grinned and ruffled my hair affectionately. The anger within subsided.

"Not literally." He amended. "But you guys have the same expression. You know—that stubborn, rebellious look that covers up all your deepest, darkest fears."

I didn't have to look again at Jade's picture to know it was true.

* * *

-Sunday-  
-Eriol-

I pressed PLAY on my stereo, letting Sakura's voice fill the room again.

_Tell me—what you're looking for,__  
What you're trying to see beyond the cold lie.__  
Tell me—am I the one you want,  
The one you want to hide away?_

_I'm not stupid, I'm not blind  
__I can see it in your eyes__  
I don't care just what you say  
__I want you to go away  
__Things are changing, tables turning  
You're the one who has to pay_

_The price for each action  
__Each deed and each lie__  
I don't give a damn whether or not if you cry  
__Knowing this, my heart soars__  
But I'm the one  
Guilty as charged_

_Takes one to know one so we're both in the game__  
Unconsciously walking through the mess we each have made  
__It's all smoke and mirrors blocking our way  
And through the mist, a voice calls, whispering_

_The price for each action  
__Each deed and each lie__  
I don't give a damn whether or not if you cry  
__Knowing this, my heart soars__  
But I'm the one  
Guilty as charged_

_These voices in my head just won't go away  
Every time I turn around, I'm filled with sorrow and pain__  
And yet the dead still call to me, screaming out my name  
And in the middle of the night, they name  
_

_The price for each action  
__Each deed and each lie__  
I don't give a damn whether or not if you cry  
__Knowing this, my heart soars__  
But I'm the one  
Guilty as charged_

_I'm guilty as charged  
Guilty as charged_

Why is Takashi so obsessed with this song anyways? Like Syaoran mentioned to me once, it's too emotionally driven, too emo, too out of touch with April 5th punk rock, Blink-182 style.

Or maybe, just maybe, it's a subtle sign that Takashi wants to change.

The door opened.

"Sorry- your mom said I could come up here." Tomoyo poked her head around the door.

My lips turned up in a smile and I waved her in. "Yeah, it's fine. To what do I owe the pleasure of your sudden company?"

I failed to notice the CD moved onto the next track.

"Is this a karaoke CD?" Tomoyo asked me, her head perking up.

"What?" I jerked my head back to look at my stereo. "Oh no. This is a really bad rendition by our garage band. Takashi wants me to practice singing it."

She stood there, transfixed. "It's really good." She murmured. "Like a professional cover. I'm sure it will be gorgeous when everything comes together."

My neck burned. "Ah... I doubt that. Sakura does an amazing job in the first place. It'll be difficult to match her performance."

Her amethyst eyes twinkled deviously. "Why don't we find out?"

* * *

-Saturday-  
-Syaoran-

I could feel the invisible sweat dripping down my back.

"Dude." Riku gaped beside me. "Where the fuck are we?"

"Shut your trap." I told him tersely. "And behave. We're going some place special."

Tomoyo was _crazy_. When she suggested bringing April 5th to Sakura's studio basement last Sunday, I thought she was asking for an early death wish. To my surprise, Sakura said nothing except,

"Ask my father."

Kinomoto-san, who was talking to Ayame at the time about possibly releasing Sakura's third studio album after graduation, agreed enthusiastically. Ayame looked at me anxiously and asked, "Who came up with this idea?"

I told her the truth. She relaxed. Immediately, I wondered why she was so uptight about the issue in the first place.

Eriol was waiting for us with Takashi outside the gates. "'Bout time you showed up." He ran his hands through his hair. "The wind is freakin' cold."

"You could have gone in."

"Meiling told me to wait for you and Riku." My best friend shrugged. "I think she's prepping the house."

"The _house-?!_" Riku demanded. "Li, where _are_ we?"

I reached past Eriol and keyed in the passcode to open the gate. "I told you dumbass-" I answered with the barest hint of a smile. "We're going somewhere special."

The maid who's name I could never remember opened the front door with a disapproving smile. "Li-san, welcome home. Hiiragizawa-san, it is good to see you again. "

Keiko—I finally remembered her name—glanced at Meiling standing in the hallway. My cousin gave her the barest of nods before disappearing down the stairs to the basement.

"Welcome, esteemed guests, to the Kinomoto Manor. I hope you will find your stay here enjoyable and do not hesitate to ask me, the rest of the staff, for assistance." She recited the standard greeting.

Takashi and Riku's eyes bugged out.

"_KINOMOTO?"_ They shouted, whirling around to face Eriol and me.

"We're in the _kaijuu's_ house?" Riku yelled.

"You _live_ here?" Takashi added, trying to keep from shouting. "Since _when?_"

I winced. Crap. I had hoped they wouldn't catch that part of Keiko's greeting.

"Yamazaki, Yamato." Her voice echoed from the top of the staircase, saving me from having to answer. "You guys are as thick as usual."

She glided down the stairs, dressed in the clothes from her summer tour she never got to wear. I forgot how... _good_ she looked in Tomoyo's designs.

"Sakura." I greeted her, trying to keep myself from staring too much.

She twitched at the use of her given name. "Li." She answered sharply. "Eriol." She flashed him a brief smile. "And the two clueless ducks."

Ouch. So cold to me and so nice to Eriol. And who's the one who tucks her into bed every night?

"Meiling's downstairs ready for tech. Ayame's coming by later to listen." She informed us coolly.

"Ayame?" I heard Takashi whisper to Eriol.

"Her cousin."

"Wait a minute!" Takashi held his hands up. "Do you mean Tsukishiro Ayame—Sakura Athene's manager?"

Eriol grinned. "The same." He answered easily as he led them to the stairs.

Riku had yet to say a word, still shocked by Sakura's appearance, but he followed Eriol and Takashi downstairs.

I paused. "Hey-" I called to her. "You coming down to listen?"

Emerald green glared at me before her expression softened. "Later. I have business with Ayame first."

* * *

-Meiling-

I couldn't stop snickering at Yamato Riku's expression.

"It's not going to vanish Yamato." I told him, the Bose headphones heavy around my neck.

"It's a freakin' _studio_! Who _has_ one of these in their house?"

Obviously, Sakura does. For very good reasons.

"Start warming up." Syaoran ordered. "We should record some stuff today too since Meiling's here for that purpose."

Yamazaki seated himself behind the drum set. Pulling out his sticks, he started testing out the sound. Apparently, he was satisfied by what he heard, and starting playing something that sounded like the rhythm part of a familiar song that I couldn't place my finger on.

"What do we start with?" Eriol asked.

The drummer shrugged. "Since we're in the kaijuu—I mean Kinomoto's—place," He shot me an apologetic look. "Why don't we start with her song?"

Dragging a stool out from the corner, Syaoran took a seat and began to play.

* * *

-Sakura-

Upstairs in my bedroom, Tomoyo and Ayame waited until I returned.

"So they're here?" Tomoyo murmured over her latest sketch.

I nodded curtly and drew up a chair next to Ayame. My cousin looked deep in thought, as if she was struggling with an idea or two, usually related to my career.

"Are you still wanting to sponsor a new artist?" She asked me suddenly.

I blinked in surprise. Totally did not see that one coming.

"Yeah. Why?"

"But what will happen to you? Will you give up your career?" She pressed me.

Tomoyo stopped sketching.

"Nothing will happen to me. I just need a break for a while. Maybe when the craze over last summer dies down, I'll be able... able to sing again."

I hoped no one noticed me falter.

Tapping her fingers on her arm, Ayame shrugged and let out a deep sigh. "I guess that's true." She admitted, blowing a strand of hair away from her face. "So why is Li-kun's garage project in the studio again?"

I jerked my thumb towards Tomoyo. "Ask her. It's her idea to bring them here."

Blue eyes glanced at our other cousin before they lit up with understanding. "Oh..."

"Oh what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing." Ayame said quickly before glancing at Tomoyo again. "Let's go downstairs and have a listen shall we?"

Ayame's change in attitude unsettled me. Whatever happened to her being so dead set against me sponsoring someone new? And how does _Tomoyo_ have anything to do with it?

Squashing my biting thoughts, I gnawed the inside of my cheek and followed my two cousins down to the basement. Already, I could hear the familiar chords mutely echoing through the closed studio door. Freezing in my tracks, my eyes widened in shock.

Of all songs to cover... why _this_ one?

* * *

Author's Note: Yeah... sorry. I needed the cliffhanger to keep me writing the next chapter, instead of having to think of new inspiration all together.

On another note, I have a LiveJournal now! I'll be posting my thoughts and progress on all my works, fanfiction or original, and will post the occasional teaser here and there. Feel free to drop by and leave your thoughts... but as always, please don't be rude. :\ Thoughtless flamers make me angry. My username is **callistamiralni** so just tack that on before typing livejournal(dot)com and you'll be good to go!

And happy birthday Jayde! ^_^

Ja ne!  
Callista Miralni


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